You should step back and evaluate relationships, in the way people behave. Watching an individual in situations will speak volumes about how you may want to assess their relationship capabilities. You can view people in one of three categories. Think of the Boston Marathon bombing.

  • There are people who run towards the danger to help the injured, ignoring their personal safety.
  • Others run away from the situation afraid of the danger, personal safety is the primary instinct.
  • Then there are the ones who caused the violence.

While it is difficult to put an individual into one of these position for every action in life, it provides a way to segment how an individual will react in most situations. Exact pigeonholes vary among each person. It is impossible to put any one person in a static personality construct. Individuals may come from an altruistic inclination, with subjects that are opposite. Then there exist the mercenary way of life with lapses that are unselfish. Each person is a complex mixture of ideas, beliefs, and principles that make you unique; which applies to all people. This is the reality that makes relationships mysterious and challenging.

The many obstacles to effective relationships have their origin from the following:

  • There are those who are just plain evil or in a dysfunctional mental state. This is a fact of life, thankfully, it is not the norm. Yet you must recognize that these people exist, and make relationships impossible. This situation I leave to professionals. My caution to you is to know the difference so that you do not lose your mind trying to change or adjust to a relationship that will never exist.
  • Egocentricity – this type of person exists for themselves and all other life forms exists only for their purpose. While relationships are not a 50/50 proposition, it is a 60/40, 10/90, 80/20.  For the egocentric it is always 100/0!
  • Mental solitude where the mind exists in a fog outside the realm of reality. Sometimes the result of a genius mind, other times the result of disconnecting from life.
  • Devotional concentration whether religious, political, or project focus as the highest priority in life. Their priority eliminates all other things from their frame of reference. A single focus leaves no energy for meaningful relationships.
  • Parochialism due to the limited worldview, self-inflicted or environment. In this the person is afraid of anything they do not understand. This leads to prejudice, withdrawal, and commitment to single ideas and solitary lives.

The purpose of these thoughts are to acknowledge that relationships are complex but need not be difficult. The difficulty arises when you miss the nuances of where people may be coming from.