Change is an evolutionary process. There are times when change appears as revolutionary; when events and traumatic circumstances cause you to alter your way of life. However, dramatic or disastrous the circumstances these events are this is not the change itself, but the catalyst for subsequent change. This is evident in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorders (PTSD). Change comes at its own pace. You cannot force it or accelerate the process. Patience is the key where you meditate thru the silence of your subconscious to new understandings. It is the way nature and the universe have designed the change process.
In a world of instantaneous results, it is difficult to accept this as a necessary way to change. You cannot hurry the process. The best way to help the change take place and make it sustainable is to follow the path each individual journey requires. Each situation, each person, the dynamics of the event all require unique and special paths to reach the ultimate change. If you try to hurry the process you will delay or sideline the progress. It takes trust and patience to allow the changes to mature. It is a journey where the destination is usually different paths to continue your journey.
The advice you must adapt is to avoid feeling guilty, overcome anger, and let time take its course.